January 2, 2020

Episode 16: REMEMBER VANESSA

When the Me Too movement became a national story, my first thought was, “have I done anything that could get me caught up in this?”  I admit, it was more of a sarcastic response than a fearful one. There was a part of me that felt the movement was an attack on men for just being men.  I mean if I’m drunk at a party and a woman is drunk at the same party and we hook up; why are my drunk actions held more accountable than hers?

So, through the platform of my podcast I thought I would address the Me Too movement from a male’s perspective. My approach wasn’t going to bash the movement but rather through my stories share how men should be careful because innocent actions can quickly get them in trouble. I had this great idea too. I remembered this passage from a book I read in high school called Makes Me Want to Holler by Nathan McCall.  It was about groups of men having sex with a girl, commonly known as a “train.”  I thought, “I’ll read this passage and jump right in to the conversation.”

I quickly ran to find and dust off the book I hadn’t read since I was 16.  I opened it, found the chapter and began to read. As I read the passage I realized something was off. This wasn’t what I remembered. It was much more graphic and painful; It was hard for me to read; I was in shock; I became uncomfortable and I began to tear up.  When I was done, I placed the book down and sat in silence.  Everything I thought I understood about Me Too, rape culture, male masculinity and what its considered innocent was wrong – and it was time for me to be honest with myself.

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